Why I’m banned from Yankee Doodle Candle

I walked in to Yankee Doodle Candle and Karen was working. I waved hi.

“You know you’re not supposed to be within a hundred feet of this building Hogan. You got a lot of nerve coming back in here after the shit you pulled last time.”

“It was all a big misunderstanding. Were the children scared? Yes. But none of them required medical attention. Got anything that smells like cookies baking?”

She plunked down a candle and without taking her hand off of it she said. “13.99 Then you and your candle need to get the hell out of my store.”

I threw a five dollar bill on the counter with 4 ones under it. When she lifted her hand off the candle I snatched it and ran.

“Cocksucker!” Karen’s scream echoed through the mall.

So much for getting my parking validated. I made a bee line for the exit.

When I lit the candle though it smelled awful.

I don’t think it was Karen that messed with it. I think it was from having it in the trunk with the dead hooker. Which is why I got the candle in the first place. Because when I lit the candle in my house after dumping her body in the aqueduct it smelled like cookies baking and dead hooker.

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