Honest Car Brand Slogans

Alfa-Romeo Back in the US because hopefully no one rembers how shitty our cars were the last time we were here.

Acura We’re Honda with the emblem turned upside-down. And slightly better leather.

Audi It’s a Volkswagen with the same leather but our emblem is totally worth the extra 10.

BMW The more it cost, the more it’s going to be in the shop.

Buick We still exist.

Cadillac Your grandfather drove a Cadillac while beating your father savagely.

Chevrolet If Ford didn’t stop making cars we’d be totally fucked

Chrysler If we didn’t have the 300 we wouldn’t sell any cars.

Dodge When you can’t get financed anywhere else. Dodge.

Ford We know we can’t build a car for shit so we give up.

Ferrari Get drunk. Do donuts. Crash into a telephone pole. Buy another. Fuck it. You’re rich.

Fiat Yeah Tony, I know I should have bought something else. Just fix it again.

Honda Did you order a Lyft?

Hyundai Our cars have gotten better but they’re still for losers

Lexus it’s like driving your couch

Lincoln We still exist? Are you sure?

Mazda The rental car jackpot.

Mercedes Benz Don’t throw up in here. It’s a Mercedes.

Range Rover You’ve heard what consumer reports said but I say fuck it.

Subaru Swear to god we finally got the head gasket thing figured out. This time for sure.

Toyota Are you my Uber Driver?

Volvo We used to build reliable cars that looked the the containers they were shipped in. Then we changed everything.

VW Fuck you. We built the Beetle

No Comments

Post A Comment