How to get boys to like you

  • Tie an Xbox One X around your neck.
  • Carry a backpack with an assortment of Nerf guns.
  • Walk around streaming sports bloopers on your phone 24–7.
  • Buy a Mustang GT. There was this girl in High School that would let you drive her Mustang GT if you hung out with her. She became quite popular.
  • Have a Dave & Busters game card with 100 bucks loaded onto it.
  • Find girls less attractive than you to hang out with so you look better in comparison.
  • Carry a large assortment of jerky and distribute it freely.
  • Back rubs. Get good at them.
  • Learn 50 knock-knock jokes and be able to recite them verbatim.
  • If all else fails you can always pick up hobo’s from the bus station and offer them a shower and a place to lie down.
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