11 Jul The tell-tale signs of a bad guitar player

• Shows up with a Crate amp and a Squier by Fender with a case that looks brand new.
• Blames every mistake on his cheap guitar. Mentions how much better he is on his Les Paul that was stolen after every song.
• Has no idea how to tune a guitar even with his 30 dollar tuner.
• Shows up with his girlfriend who gets pissed off at something after 5 minutes. She sits in the car while texting him how much of an asshole he is every two minutes which he needs to respond to right then.


And the contact for the rights of this picture was Richard Benson himself. So I just got off the phone with Richard Benson. I think he needed to hear from a fan today. I just got material for an upcoming story while getting photo rights for this story. Writing just got fun again.

• When you ask him to play something he does the intro for “Nothing Else Matters”
• Can play the intro, interlude, and refrain for “One” everything else he says he forgot.
• Can almost make it all the way through the first chorus of “Enter Sandman.”
• When you ask him if he knows anything besides Metallica he starts playing the chorus to Pantera’s “Walk” but wrong.
• You tell him the chord progression he says, “So where do my fingers go when?”
• When you give him the tabs he asks what the numbers inside the black dots mean.
• Remembered the beer and weed but forgot his pick.
• Bitches the pick you gave him is too firm and small.
• Can do hammer on’s for days but can’t hold the G or B string down with their pinkie.
• Needs to adjust his strap every 2 minutes.
• When he asks when the next practice is everyone just smiles and keeps drinking the beer he brought.