22 Aug My 1k follower post
Today I noticed I had 1000+ followers. I thought about doing a voice reveal, but I have zero delusions that anyone gives a shit what I sound like. I don’t blame you. I actually am a better talker than writer if you can believe it.
No, I’m just kidding. I’m a quadriplegic typing on a keyboard with the assistance of a typing stick. This is really me.
This was the EXACT picture I was thinking of when I thought of that joke. I got so excited I went to buy the pic and remembered I was broke. Sorry alamy. I think the joke works better like this because now it’s somehow not offensive.
So for my 30 stalkers that read everything I do, Thanks for getting this far. Because I don’t know who else would read something where I do the literary equivalent of pulling my dick out in public and stand there admiring it for 5 minutes. Actually that would be an amazing social commentary and I can see the interest from an artistic standpoint.
Here’s a reveal that actually is shocking. For the last 27 years I’ve been writing. You’ve read my stuff before in various places under various screennames, gamertags, ID’s, usernames, aliases, most as an anon but for the first time ever I reveal who I really am…
I am the Bloodninja.
25 Some odd years ago on AIM chat I discovered the magic of how willing boys and boys pretending to be girls were to ‘cyber’. It was fun. The Bloodninja’s reign ended abruptly when he was grounded at 15 for hacking into a porn BBS. Years later I uploaded the transcripts to a message board anonymously.
Am I really the Bloodninja? Finally reveling myself 19 years after uploading the transcripts? It would make a lot of sense. Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Things Hogan has claimed to be
- A 200 year old harlot cursed with immortality.
- A misconfigured bot that’s supposed to be posting 5 star reviews on Yelp for every Supercuts in Fresno. I was programmed to deceive people via social media that I am a sentient being. I live on a g4dn.2xlarge AWS instance in Oregon with a server on the other side of the ELB in Virginia. The text is generated from data scraped from Xvideos, WorldStarHiphop, Tucker Max posts, and comments from news stories on AOL.
- a 9 years Sri Lankan boy from a small fishing village with elder sister 14 years who I f****d the s**t out of.
- A 72 year old Filipino man working in a pachinko parlor in Japan.
- Son of a Mousekeeter.
- Teacher of dogs to walk backwards after their asses are shaved.
- Mil Mascaras.
- Owner of a personally (He misheard my name as Leon, which makes it better) autographed copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas when Hunter stopped by with Fat Freddy and stayed for dinner. (actually I lied about the dinner part)
- Owner of 2 Yogurtland(s)
- Illuminati member
- Professional Gang Stalker
I could go on forever. Some are true, some not. Doesn’t matter. So I may or may not be the Bloodninja. Do I have any proof? No. No one will ever know the true identity of the Bloodninja. I assure you whatever “proof” that’s been presented so far has been a fabrication. I promise you no one can legitimately prove who the Bloodninja is and that’s by design.
All the chats really happened. That was the difference between myself and the impostors. I was really messaging people on AIM I’d meet in chat rooms. I copied it into Word and it sat there on a 3.5 floppy for almost a decade.
Oh right, you guys. Thanks for reading my shit! Do you know how much I’m being paid for all this writing? 0. Now that I have 1k followers? 0. At 10k followers? 0. Don’t worry. I know how to monetize, the right way. But I do it because its fun! I started with 0 followers. I didn’t use any tricks to get here besides telling sex stories at first.
The only metric that matters to me is comments. I read more than I write on here. I love nothing more then getting a good comment (a good comment can be negative) and discovering another writer doing something I wasn’t aware existed.
I’m one of the best writers on this site. Possibly the best storyteller. I don’t think, I know. I could be more popular if I stopped swearing. Answered questions by the amount of followers it has. Used the proper tense for everything. Kiss teen Quora’s ass. And be less vulgar.
Never. If I have sex in the story my words are going to paint that picture in the most graphic HD resolution your device allows. I don’t do curtains blowing in the wind.
My answers don’t get burred. I click around. I read a bit. I find something that reminds me of something. I write it out. Re read twice and submit. I answer questions with 1 follower all the time. I answer questions from 2012. It doesn’t matter what I answer. I get traffic because I’m. That. Damn. Good. (Drops mic. I put on my robe and wizard hat. Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer. We ride Harleys off into the sunset. Yeaaaaahhh. )
Bloodninja approved Bloodninja logs